Millions of readers rely on HelpGuide for free, evidence-based resources to understand and navigate mental health challenges. Please donate today to help us protect, support, and save lives. Our society tends to place an emphasis on romantic relationships. We think that just finding that right person will make us happy and fulfilled. But research shows that friends are actually even more important to our psychological welfare. Friends bring more happiness into our lives than virtually anything else.
Behave like someone new to the area. Cheer on your team. Going to a bar alone can seem intimidating, but if you support a sports team, find out where other fans go to watch the games.
You automatically have a shared interest-your team-which makes it natural to start up a conversation. Making eye contact and exchanging small talk with strangers is great practice for making connections-and you never know where it may lead!
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Invite a neighbor or work colleague out for a drink or to a movie. Lots of other people feel just as uncomfortable about reaching out and making new friends as you do. Be the one to break the ice.
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Your neighbor or colleague will thank you later. Connect with your alumni association. Many colleges have alumni associations that meet regularly. You already have the college experience in common; bringing up old times makes for an easy conversation starter. Some associations also sponsor community service events or workshops where you can meet more people.
Track down old friends via social media sites. Carpool to work. Many companies offer carpool programs. Here are some common obstacles-and how you can overcome them.
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Developing and maintaining friendships takes time and effort, but even with a packed schedule, you can find ways to make the time for friends. Put it on your calendar. Schedule time for your friends just as you would for errands.
Make it automatic with a weekly or monthly standing appointment. Or simply make sure that you never leave a get-together without setting the next date. Mix business and pleasure. Figure out a way to combine your socializing with activities that you have to do anyway.
These could include going to the gym, getting a pedicure, or shopping. Errands create an opportunity to spend time together while still being productive. Group it. Making new friends means putting yourself out there, and that can be scary.
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But by working with the right therapist, you can explore ways to build trust in existing and future friendships. For more general insecurities or a fear of rejection, it helps to evaluate your attitude. These fears get in the way of making satisfying connections and become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
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Nobody likes to be rejected, but there are healthy ways to handle it:. Making a new friend is just the beginning of the journey. Friendships take time to form and even more time to deepen, so you need to nurture that new connection. Be the friend that you would like to have. Treat your friend just as you want them to treat you.
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Be reliable, thoughtful, trustworthy, and willing to share yourself and your time. Be a good listener. Be prepared to listen to and support friends just as you want them to listen to and support you.
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