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A dear brother in the Lord named Roberto has a huge fascination with cars, especially sports cars, like the Camaro and any model Porsche. In his native country of Brazil, he and his buddies often spend a Saturday afternoon test driving new cars at a local dealership just for fun. Modern dating was successfully launched during the sexual revolution and spiritual mayhem of the s and many of the principles of biblical dating courtship rapidly became less prominent and less important in our society. The practice of courtship offered structure which allowed both parties to get to know each other before encountering emotional and physical entanglements. While many are in it just for the fun and physical, not everyone is so laid-back about it. Unfortunately, survey after survey indicates that many of those who say they are Christian are following on this path right along with the masses. Certainly, the Lord is not pleased, but rather deeply grieved, by the casual, drive-by dating scene that professing Christians are immersed in and with which they are seemingly quite comfortable.

There are " Christian dating " ideas floating around that have little or nothing to do with the Bible. Most are well intended and contain a nugget of truth.

Some are flat-out wrong. Dating is hard enough without sifting through all this erroneous information, so let's debunk some myths around Christian dating. There are plenty of them, but let's focus on what I believe are the top five myths that make dating harder for Christian singles. Good luck finding this one in the Bible. There is plenty of stuff about God's will for his people, God wanting good things for you, and God's ultimate plan. Nowhere, however, does it say that God picked out a spunky brunette whom he's waiting to spring on you at the right moment.

I'm not saying that he doesn't.

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When it comes to God, I'm pretty careful about saying what he does or doesn't do. But I do know this- if you rely on this idea too much, your dating life will get really confusing.

Some Christians take a lot of comfort in the idea that God will do the heavy lifting when it comes to dating.

Christian Dating vs. Worldly Dating- Big Differences

God will tell them if a relationship is right, and God will end it if it's not. All they have to do is sit back and enjoy the ride. This may be the biggest excuse men use for being lazy in relationships, much less finding one.

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German theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer addresses this issue in a wedding sermon he wrote for his sister from a Nazi jail cell. He says that God joins the relationship between a man and a woman at the point of marriage.

Dating like a christian

Before that, the couple has to take the initiative. Rather than directing the course of the relationship, God wants the couple to grow and learn how to make a commitment. Once they've done that, God increases his sustaining presence. I'm not saying that God doesn't have a will regarding your dating life. God may, in fact, have a spunky brunette in mind, and he's steering you toward her as you read this. But the Bible does not promise that God will provide a loving relationship for you while you sit around and do nothing.

But, as in all things, it's best to ask for his guidance.

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The Bible promises he will provide that whenever we ask. Rely on God's love, wisdom, and sustaining presence while you're dating. Though God won't do all the work for you, he'll be with you every step of the way. The good news is that most men don't have a problem with this.

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Regardless of your theology on the Predestination of Girlfriends, you're probably eager to be an active participant in your dating life.

This brings us to our next myth. People didn't date in biblical times, there is no such thing as "Biblical Dating". Dating as a socially accepted means of finding a mate has been around for less than a century. Before that, strict courtship rituals governed the path to marriage. Whom you married wasn't even up to you most of the time.

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Falling in love before you got married or engaged is a twentieth-century concept. Dating as we know it occurred after marriage. In college, I had an older professor from Japan whose marriage had been arranged.

He made fun of modern dating, saying, "By the time you get married now, the fun is over. In an arranged marriage, the fun starts after the wedding!

For the Hebrews and the early church, dating wasn't an issue to be addressed in Scripture. Sex and marriage were, but not dating.

When the Bible was written, a person basically had one of three options: remaining single, an immoral life with multiple partners or prostitutes, or an arranged marriage. There were courtship rituals in place, but nothing that looks like what we consider dating today. The church has reached a difficult crossroads when it comes to pre-marriage romance.

We no longer have rituals of courtship and arranged marriage to guide us every step of the way.

Aug 21,   To Christian singles, dating may seem very high stakes because they want to meet and marry a special person with similar values and beliefs. Fortunately, there are many Christian dating sites that can truthexchange-sow.com is a rundown of the best websites and apps for Christian singles.

This leaves a lot of room for error. It's also spawned a whole range of opinions and advice on how to handle dating. One glance at the numerous books about love, dating, and marriage suggests that we're making a lot of this up as we go along. Of course, there are biblical principles that are essential to dating. If you follow the biblical prescriptions for gentleness, respect, sexual purity, and kindness Gal.

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Your head and your heart should be in Scripture at all times, but you won't find specific guidelines for dating. Is it okay to kiss before marriage? The answer isn't in the Bible though the Song of Solomon sure gives us a clue.

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How about going out on dates alone? Nope, not in there either.

Can I Date A Non-Christian? - Brad Andres. Nov 16,   Dating may be a game, but, eventually, like war or boxing, it has serious consequences. RELATED: Check Out The Best Dating Sites For Meeting Single Christians So get real, because this is . Unfortunately, survey after survey indicates that many of those who say they are Christian are following on this path right along with the masses. Certainly, the Lord is not pleased, but rather deeply grieved, by the casual, drive-by dating scene that professing Christians are immersed in and with which they are seemingly quite comfortable.

The Bible provides some crucial relational principles but doesn't address the specifics. This requires more decision-making on your part.

You can't follow antiquated courtship rituals anymore.

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At least I don't advise it. Asking a woman's father if you can date his daughter without consulting her first might be a good way to never get a first date. You also don't have a scriptural field manual that tells you how to behave in every situation.

It's up to you to be in prayer and conversation with your Christian community about these things. You're going to have to think, talk, pray, and be ready to make some mistakes. Speaking of mistakes, let's look at our next myth. If this is true, I screwed up somewhere. I thought my wife was out of my league when I met her. We had a nice conversation, but I left thinking that she wouldn't go out with a guy like me.

Regardless, I didn't get a divine telegram saying, "She's the one! Start picking out china patterns! Waiting for God to whack you on the head and tell you whom to marry isn't faith; it's fear. Many people want nothing to do with dating because of the risk and potential pain that it involves.

This is certainly understandable, as dating can have traumatic results in unhealthy circumstances. But what do you think serves us better in the long run? Growing and suffering in the process of learning or a revelation that lets us off the hook?

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I would have loved to know that the beautiful woman I was talking to would one day be my wife, but I might not have worked as hard to earn her hand in marriage. I would have missed a lot of experiences that made me a better man.

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Be careful if you think God has told you that Betty from the bookstore is the one for you, but you have no idea if she feels the same way. If you plunge in, convinced that you are on a mission from God, and she's not sure yet, it's a quick way to scare her off.

Our unconscious mind can kick up powerful feelings that sometimes get mistaken for a message from God.

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Maybe she was nicer to you than anyone you've met in a long time. Maybe she's the first woman you ever met that likes Cracker Jacks as much as you do.

Christians dating someone who is not on the same page spiritually will suffer later when they disagree on important topics and life choices.

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Make sure you're yoked with someone who is committed to going the same way-and at the same speed-as you. Does this person exhibit the fruits of the Spirit?

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Answering these questions may seem judgmental, but these judgments must be made to choose the person whom you are going to spend the rest of their lives with.

Photo by Vladimir Kudinov on Unsplash.

While there is nothing wrong with spending time together just watching movies and having fun, Christians need to take some time to be still and let the Lord guide them when it comes to finding the right mate.

This is both a lesson in self-control and patience as well as a commitment that nothing is going to come between you and a solid relationship with the Lord-including your significant other.

Although there is no formula for the perfect relationship, couples that get in the habit of doing devotions together or praying together are more likely to stay together when times get tough. Christians must consider partners who are willing to get on their knees for their relationship, their future, and their commitment to follow God all the days of their life.

The more committed couples are to each other the more likely they are to ask God for his help and provision in every ct of their relationship. If a Christian has found the person they will be with for the rest of their lives, Satan will seek to break them up.

Parents and kids can pray for their future spouse together from an early age.

The spirit, whose role is to convict, guide and direct His followers, will reveal whom Christians should date, and ultimately marry if Christians take the time to seek His will for their lives. During the dating relationship, both Christians should continue to seek the Holy Spirit and ask for His guidance in your life and your relationship.

Dating can be complicated for anyone, especially Christians who are younger. However, dating is the precursor to marriageso it's important to have a healthy dating relationship centered on God.

Although the above tips are not the only criteria to use when it comes to evaluating dating or potential dating relationships, they can be a great source to brainstorm additional ideas and questions.

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