Rapid-fire ates i. TL;DR if your post is longer than ish words about a half page. General discussion topics such as requests for stories, polls, general questions, etc. Moral Judgment Posts - See rule I 1 for what to do if your question resembles these:. Fetish deep-dives, e. Name calling, insults, or insensitive language details , regardless of who started it.
The months you've been together should tell you much more about who she is as a person and a partner than her past ever will. It could say a lot of different things about a person's attitude towards intimacy or self esteem.
Maybe you should ask her why she did it. Slutting around is not the same as cheating. The character trait you have to worry about there is dishonesty, and she has not shown herself to be dishonest.
You're worried about her getting bored down the line. Do you ever worry that you'll get bored down the line?
Maybe you'll both be in a good position, down the line, to work together to make things exciting again. This reminds me of the Dan Savage sexual karma law: "Reject the honest foot fetishist, and you'll end up with the dishonest necrophiliac. Isn't that better than a cheater? If you're worried that it'll change once the honeymoon period is over, don't get married for a couple years.
It's pretty common for things to change once the honeymoon period is over, which is why it's a good idea to wait with anyone, regardless of how many partners are involved.
Made you dating someone with a promiscuous past that was necessary
Figure out the foundational reasons behind why this nags at you. It will help you get past many more things, not just in the relationship but life in general. Better even is to communicate to her your rational thoughts. Forget her, find a younger, better looking one That's so judgmental, and misogynist.
You keep using that word, I don't think you know what it means. Anybody, man or woman, is allowed to judge another. Right now I judge you to be an idiot; just because you have a vagina doesn't make me a misogynist. Anyone is "allowed" to judge, yes, but that doesn't mean their judgement is worth anything.
Especially when they're just being sexist, or in your case, when you're making false assumptions. That's ridiculous. Yes, a lack of self control in the past is a reliable indicator of lack of self control in the future.
Here is the truth about marriage or any other long-term relationship: At some point, you are going to want to fuck someone else. You will probably even have the opportunity to fuck someone else. That will be true of your partner as well. Now, knowing that, who do you think is going to be more likely to resist temptation, someone who is used to exercising self control, or someone who is used to giving in to that desire whenever they want? There is absolutely nothing wrong for having a dating preference that excludes someone with a promiscuous past.
You should give yourself the chance to let it process and see if it's something you can deal with. If you can, it might change the dynamic of your relationship with her a little, but that's fine. If you can't, that's also ok. Don't let anyone tell you what your dating preferences can or cannot be. If you reversed the situation and it was you who had slept with double to triple the people she has, would you expect her to break up with you because you have a "promiscuous past"?
Is there a double standard here because she's a woman? Does she treat you right? Does she make you laugh? Is the sex good? Would she be a good wife, mother, friend, lover, over the long term?
That's more important than who she's slept with in the past. Sometimes past behavior is a predictor for future acts, but does it apply to you, too? You've obviously slept with a few girls, are you going to cheat on this one just because you've been with a bunch of other ones? The person who wrote that blog made a lot of assumptions.
Let's Talk Discusses Dating a Person with a Criminal History
OP has slept with 21 women, which is a lot more than "a small handful. Getting moony is not just the province of virgins. The sum total of experiences in our lives makes us who we are. You said you love her. Everything she's ever seen, done, thought, or felt is part of who she is now. And think about it, she's happy with you. You need to straighten your head out and apologize to her for being so judgmental if you don't want to lose her.
Go more slowly with the relationship if you want, but don't throw away something great just because your pride or notions of what constitutes a decent woman are obstacles to reality. I can absolutely understand this is about me. Thanks for pointing that out. I just feel like maybe I don't really know her as well as I thought I did. I hate to say it, but had I known this earlier in dating, I probably would not have pursued things further.
I understand I am being judgmental, and I don't want to be an asshole. No one is perfect and I am sure she accepts some of my flaws as well, but I'm not comfortable with this. Now I'm questioning how many of her friends I met were actually flings.
I'm driving myself crazy and I need to stop. I just wish I was never given this info. Thanks again. That's the thing you need to balance. What has actually happened between you, not what you fear could, would or did happen.
All relationships are, at the bottom line, a leap of faith. No one can tell you what should or shouldn't bother you. This bothers you. It's not wrong. This is absolute bullshit. We are always learning new things about the people in our lives.
They may be the same person today as they were yesterday, but if you learn of some horrible thing they did in the past your feelings for them will rightfully change. The thing is, you never really know other people. She IS the same person, but today he knows more about her than he did yesterday.
That's part of getting to know each other. Do you know what else is part of getting to know each other? Finding out if the other person trips any of your deal breakers. I don't find your argument to be valid. You are simply trying to shame him into adopting your viewpoint. Most people are telling YOU what to think about it. Don't fucking listen to that bullshit. If it bothers you it's for a reason, and you aren't going to "just get over it".
Personally, I wouldn't wife a girl that rode the cock carousel all throughout her twenties, but some people aren't bothered by it. It's your choice to make. I have to ask, what's your number?
Even if her number is double or triple yours, if your number is in the teens or twenties or higher, what's the difference? Once you've slept with more than a handful of girls, the exact numbers stop mattering, in my opinion. I'm 33M and my girlfriend is 28F. My number is exactly 4, including her. I was in a long-term relationship for almost 12 years since I was 20, so I didn't get the chance to sleep around much.
It ended about 18 months ago, I had sex with two girls and then I met my girlfriend. I don't know her number, or even a ballpark, because I don't want to know. But she did mention in passing that it was more than she could count.
Based on other things I've gathered from her, I'm pretty sure she's been through times in her life when my number of 4 would have been a slow month. I deal with it, so can you. I'll tell you what I tell every guy who posts a thread like this. It's what I tell myself when I start to think about how many guys my girlfriend has slept with.
If your girlfriend had been the type to settle down at a young age, she would have been taken long before you met her. What did you expect her to do, wait around for you? Save herself for you? Good points. Thank you.
My number is I'm not totally inexperienced, it just kind of shocked me to think its way more than mine. I guess I'm being stupid, whatever. It bothered me and I had to get it off my chest. She's been with over 60 guys? Holy moly.
I'm pretty sure 21 is on the very high end for most guys. As a female, I think your number is really high, and it's kind of weird that you're judging your gf for the same thing. He isn't. His number IS high. However, his girlfriend's is nearly 3x his own. That isn't the same thing at all.
I don't really consider it plausible that you actually fail to see that. I think that you just like playing make-believe. At this point they have both been having enough casual sex that I see no difference between the two.
I see a great deal of difference between the two. That difference is, as I've said above, He has a right to see a difference. I have a right to see the difference. Your perception is not the final arbiter of objective reality.
Neither is your perception.
Jul 10, 5. They may have gotten it out of their system. Just because someone has a promiscuous past doesn't necessarily mean you have to worry about their insatiable sexual appetite. Dating someone with a promiscuous past - Rich man looking for older woman & younger man. I'm laid back and get along with everyone. Looking for an old soul like myself. I'm a lady. My interests include staying up late and taking naps. If you are a middle-aged man looking to have a good time dating man half your age, this advertisement is for you. Living Beyond the Past. The seeds of grace in a dating relationship where one or both people have a sexual history can bloom in several ways. They can produce a marriage (1 Corinthians -9). They may prolong a dating relationship for the sake of discernment. Grace may reveal that one, or both, are not ready to date each other. At least not yet.
His number is high enough that I find it a bit ridiculous that all of a sudden he isn't okay with casual sex.
I kind of wonder how he would react and if he would post on here if he had just gotten dumped for having too many partners by someone with numbers in the single digits. Don't let these other men make you wrong for what you know in your heart: For a woman to have fucked that many guys is slutty behavior.
See, I would think of your number as being relatively high. But she's happy to be with you despite it. You could try and rearrange yourselves into the same category in your mind, that might help you get over it. Sometimes I worry about my boyfriend's past, even though it's not much more than mine.
Then I think - he chose me, when he could have had plenty of those other girls wrapped around his finger. That makes me feel special. Might help. Gee, another guy putting pussy on a pedestal.
For that dating someone with a promiscuous past senseless
For crying out loud, what has changed other than her "breaking" some ill-conceived "number" in your head that is either "acceptable" or not? Don't ask if you don't want to know. It doesn't matter one iota and you're always better off just not knowing.
I don't know why other men have the urge to know. It's stupid and benefits no oneand this is a prime example. To be fair, I didn't ask and I'd have preferred not to know. She gave me this info utruthexchange-sow.comovoked. That is another thing that bothers me. I did ask for the number, but that was after she kept talking about how crazy her past was and how she slept with a lot of guys. What would be the motive to tell me something like that? Bracing me for some future event? I just don't get it and I was perfectly happy not knowing any of that.
If you do care and don't come clean, you'll sabotage things consciously or subconsciously. Clearly she's a different woman and what was once exciting to her now bothers her. Like getting rid of her Marilyn Manson shirts. She can't wear that now. Ignorance isn't always bliss if there's something bothering a person. If you want to pass the test, you have to deal with this. If you can't, she's going to find out you're not relationship material.
If there's other problems eating at her and you're not available, she won't turn to you if she's with you and then you're gonna lose her. If I were you, I'd put my arms around her, look her in the eyes and tell her that you love her and accept her for who she is and you're glad she told you. That you may sometimes need time to sort things out that aren't easy to comprehend, but that's normal because people aren't always prepared for unusual news. And that in the end you still can't control yourself when you are surprised and then make love to her.
And I mean that as in "don't make her do the work" stuff. She's probably already feeling self-conscious. Serve her. Let her be the recipient of pleasure with no expectation of return. I'm not joking. Do this. The last thing you want is to give her a stigma about her sexuality. This took a lot of guts. She is very vulnerable. Don't ruin her. Or just being honest about her life? Seems like it should be more of a red flag to be deceptive about one's past than to be honest about something, especially about a topic that so many people are judgmental about.
Consciously or subconsciously knowing that this might be your reaction - and it's better to get it out of the way now than to have it come up later in your relationship. Feeling like you have to keep some part of your life 'secret' from your SO is a heavy burden. It's a lot" I start throwing out numbers and estimates to try and get a ball park. She said she had a promiscuous past. She didn't want to tell you her number. You pushed her into it, and now you're getting pissy about it.
Could have just left it, you didn't. I understand your little uhm. So sad. Perhaps you can't help that - lets face it, males these days don't really act as if they're evolved human beings.
But in the hopes of trying to aid you with being a little more like the intelligent human being you should be, let me point out that what she has done is not wrong.
Yes, yes, you know that. As such, you're going to let the neanderthal part of your brain ruin this amazing relationship instead of bucking up your ideas. Yeah, you fucking can, in the long run. We always excuse men for acting like this - 'boys will be boys', 'men want what they want, they cant help it!!!
Apr 29, I'd take someone who has had past partners over someone who has had 2 and has a history of cheating. Promiscuous doesn't always mean unfaithful if that's what you're worried about. I actually see it as a good thing that she broke up with someone to be with someone else. It beats doing it behind their back. Hello everyone. Looking for some advice about a situation that has been eating me up for the past few weeks. I'm a 28 year old woman with a very promiscuous past. Over 11 years I have slept with around 70 men. Most of these were one night stands and casual hook ups during university. Jun 14, There is absolutely nothing wrong for having a dating preference that excludes someone with a promiscuous past. You should give yourself the chance to let it process and see if it's something you can deal with. If you can, it might change the dynamic of your relationship with her a little, but that's fine. If you can't, that's also ok.
Yes you can. You can help being an ape about this. You can tell yourself 'I'm being a fucking idiot' and work on your issues, cus this is an issue. Your issue. Take some responsibility.
Take some goddamn responsibility for your idiocy before you lose what could have been the best relationship you'll ever have. Cus I'm telling you - her past is whats made her into that woman you fell for, the one you could see yourself marrying. All of it. Every single second of her past contributed to that woman you're with now, the one you had NO problems with before you found out some meaningless number and went all caveman on our asses.
Sure, you could find a woman who has had sex with less people than you have, but will you love them as much? None of us will really care whether you do or don't. The only person it will affect is you, and her. I know that's something men don't think they need to do because you all think you're automatically perfect as you are, and all those entitled, neanderthal thoughts that pop into your head are perfectly fine and alright to dictate life and others by, but a little of this could contribute to your own happiness.
Introspection, asking yourself why this pointless thing bothers you, and actively working on it. Very, despite what other petulant, entitled man children will tell you. Introspection and working on your irrational issues is very possible for men, you just live in a bubble where no one expects you to do it and you expect people to wrap you in cotton wool and take all your stupid shit seriously because those are your man feels. Realise that some of your man feels are stupid and work on yourself, or don't.
Make your choice. I've certainly experienced men having tantrums about pointless shit before because they don't realise that in they have brains to help them not go irrational over pointless shit, then deny that what they're having tantrums about is irrational in the first place because they stamp their feet and claim none of their man-thoughts are irrational just by virtue of them being men.
Does that count? If you do leave her over this, good luck. Finding someone you love enough to want to marry isn't easy. It actually might suggest infidelity in the future. And he's allowed to think or feel whatever he wants without a belligerent internet feminist making a caricature out if him for it.
Why are you responding to this person. Look at that name. Look at the comment. This is either a novelty account in which case, I tip my hat. OR I would if I had a hat. I hate hatsor an extremely self-aware man-hater in which case, well But please try harder to work on the whole bigotry thing.
There's nothing wrong with having someone's past affect your attraction to them. There is just about no dating preference whatsoever that is "wrong".
What's changed is his attraction to the woman. The corollary to "Don't ask if you don't want to know" is "ask if you want to know", which he clearly did. It did matter at least an iota to the OP, because now he is rethinking the relationship. Now you know why men have the urge to know: because it matters to them. It's not stupid to have a different set of dating preferences from you. You're being a little judgmental.
Can dating someone with a promiscuous past all?
Edit: I see OP didn't ask for the info. Either way, we shouldn't hold people accountable for what they're attracted to. Of course not, people are free to set the bar as high as they like, many times to their own detriment. In the context of this post though. If she's that rare and that great, he won't worry about shit he can't change. I object to talking about dating preferences as if they are things that should be fair or practical. In general there is very little we can do to affect what we're attracted by; we either see past something we don't like, or we don't.
Depends on where he is in his life. If a man has lived his life right, is successful, and takes care of his body, his 30s can be the unparalleled peak of his dating life.
Opportunities like this may be more common than they were earlier. This is your problem, not hers. She's exactly who she was while you were planning a family with her.
Her past is just that - past. If you can let go of the fact that she's had more partners, you can continue this awesome relationship. If not, you need to go out and find another woman. Guys, I sincerely thank you all for each and every one of your thoughts. I wanted to get it off my chest and get some different ideas and you all helped me through that. I'm not a "beta" and I'm not a loser.
As far as looks go, my friends think I can do better and if looks were the ultimate decision maker I'd have ended up with other girls I've dated that are way more attractive.
I got in this relationship because she filled something inside me that wasn't shallow and wasn't OMG she's the hottest girl I've hooked up with. In fact, she is not the hottest girl ever but I never cared. I found someone who is like a best friend in female form. Before this I didn't think that existed. I'm drunk now because I went out with my buddies tonight and blew some steam. So forgive me for being an ass. I'm not going to break up with her but things have definitely changed.
This isn't the person I thought I knew, but to be fair I may not be the same person she thought I was either. I don't give a shit that this is "blog fodder" or whatever, because I have real friends that have my back no matter what happens.
Those of you who feel the need to repost this and make fun, I'm cool with it. I have a sense of humor too. If it made you feel better about yourself or just get a laugh then that's cool. Thank you again for your honest opinions, and your help with a difficult thing I don't understand.
I just want to be a better person tomorrow than I was today and you all helped me do that in your own way. I'm done posting and I won't look to the Internet for advice anymore.
Just wanted a place to vent and here some opinions and I got that. Thanks, good luck to all, and don't worry about me. Whatever happens in this life I will make the best of it. I battle with this issue because I don't see myself as shallow but this flipped out and I don't think it should have.
I didn't have anyone else to talk to about it because I've already sold her to my friends as a great girl. Now I feel I fucked up. Oh honey, my heart aches for you. It really does.
It sounds like you guys are really, really compatible. Here's the deal. Everyone on this thread is arguing over whether you have the "right" to be bothered.
You'd have the "right" to reject her for eating her peas weird, or painting her nails a color you didn't like. The question isn't whether you have the right to be bothered, it's whether you want to be happy. And if you want to be happy, you should work your ass off to get past this. She's the first person you've connected with on this level. You're attracted to her. You like being around her. She might not be "the one," but she could be the prototype, and you should figure out now how to get past a non-deal-breaker that still bothers you because you are human before you get too old to change.
As for that study about marriage dissolution- First of all, dissolution is not infidelity. OMG, that's you! Do you think you'd be happy with someone like that? You guys would have nothing in common. Roll with it, and for god's sake try to figure out how to be happy.
Look at the people on this thread who are saying "She's a slut, dump her. Look at the language they use. Look at what they hold up as an ideal relationship. And ask yourself "Do these people understand me? Except that it clearly does bother him. I doubt that it will stop bothering him. If he stays, and this doesn't stop being a source of resentment and lets be honest here, we have far less control over how we feel than we'd like to believehow do you think this ends?
It is always tempting to point to the most obnoxious people that disagree with you. It isn't a terribly valid argument, though. It sounds like she spent her youth riding the cock carousel and is now seeking a provider since she's let herself go and is past her prime.
Make no mistake: staying with a 20lb overweight slut is a beta behavior. You know it in your gut but are now trying to rationalize your way out of the discomfort of confrontation. Clearly you have a lot to offer and you are in your prime at If you stay with her I suggest you look out for major red flags like her withholding sex, spending significant money on her, etc.
Seriously, fuck you for thinking that's even relevant here. Honestly, I wonder why you even care, given you're not exactly a virgin Joseph yourself. While I agree that there was a heavy dose of contempt toward men in her I'm assuming; people rarely have such issues with their own gender statement, I don't think you understood the point I don't think she understood his, either.
She isn't saying that it's wrong to have physical standards. She's simply saying that he can't use the fact that she isn't physically perfect to deflect from the primary question. Because it doesn't actually have anything to do with how many people she's slept with. Dude, don't listen to all these people telling you to get over it.
It sounds like you have a lot going for you and can probably attract a woman of equal or superior quality who doesn't have such a colorful past. Many people in this thread are trying to force the mentality that the number of partners a woman has had doesn't matter, but they are living in a fantasy world.
For the vast majority of men, it absolutely matters and impacts the level of desirability of women. That's perfectly fine. Did you think that she never had sex before she met you?
You dating someone with a promiscuous past idea useful You
It is not as big of a deal as you are making it out to be. My wife was wild while in college and had quite a reputation. I found out, like you, after we met. We dated for 5 yrs and been married 8. She has not strayed and I am not worried that she will. If she is into you and the two of you are a good match, don't stress over the past.
It shows a total lack of self control on her end, women have an amazingly easy time finding someone to have sex with that is as equally attractive as they are. Men, not so much. I myself can go out and get laid but mother fucker it is time consuming. Oh stop that "lack of self control" nonsense. Women can enjoy sex too, that's just how she chose to spend her time. No, that is wiring that helps men select mates for long term commitment.
Also, there are studies showing that women with higher pre-marital partner counts are more likely to suffer divorce. In short, there are perfectly valid reasons you are feeling less interested in committing to a woman with a high partner count.
Don't let other people tell you otherwise. If you want to marry her, do so. That is your choice, and you are well within your rights to decide on that basis.
Your body, your choice, right? You seem to want to bring race into this. We will get back to that after we deal with your error of reasoning. I did say to make a decision here. If he uses data to consider the future regarding how that decision could play out, that is smart, not dumb. What do you do, consider no such thing in making your life plans? While you can never know which way a particular gamble is going to play out, knowing the odds involved in the gamble is absolutely essential, I think, or at least advisable.
So, in sum, judging an individual or a particular risk based on the statistical outcomes over time of similarly-situated individuals is pretty damn important. We should always be doing that. Put another way, using your infelicitous race example, if a particular inoffensive behavioral trait of black men-say, sky-diving-was disturbingly correlated with another somewhat unattractive trait in friends, say, high probability to crash your car with you in it relative to other friends you could select as a long-term driver of your carthen yes, you would be actually quite smart to make a decision whether you should let your sky-diving black friend drive your car with you in it.
Other friends may be a safer choice.
But the key variable is the sky-diving associated with the car-driving. Similarly, if a woman with a relatively high partner count viewed simply as a variable, without any sort of slut-shaming prudery carries a higher risk of a life-shattering divorce in the future, men are well-advised to consider that increased risk of divorce as part of assessing whether to marry a woman with a higher or lower partner count.
You don't select the higher partner count woman if you are divorce-avoidant in your risk preferences, just like you don't select the sky-diving friend if you sensibly want to avoid car crashes.
I am guessing, however, that you really don't follow the analogy I just made, since for you, it is all about assuming a pose of moral superiority, not really engaging in the actual point of discussion. Hence your attempt to race-bait and such. Personally, I would be more worried about how many one night stands she's had. To be so free with your sexuality as to give yourself to random strangers and if that number is a high oneonly convinces me, and sorry ladies and gents, that this female is easy.
Plenty of men get married and have long-term monogamous relationships after having lots of partners. What suggests infidelity is how they treated their partners in the past. Besides, past transgressions are not always indicators of future behaviour as people do grow up and learn as they mature over time. Is she good in bed? If you enjoy how she fucks, come to terms with the other guys she learned with. It's not like it's some kind of accomplishment for a woman to sleep around.
Nearly any half decently attractive woman can get laid anytime she wants to extremely easily. It's nothing to congratulate. Well yes, but there are other things to take into consideration as well.
Not always, sure. But why take the chance? I mean she isn't even capable of giving OP a firm number of how many guys she's been with. That's much much worse then just outright saying a high number.
Dating someone with a promiscuous past
What else doesn't he know about his girlfriend? What other things about her past doesn't he know, that might crop up later. I think the reason OP is freaking out so much is just that, he thought he knew exactly who she was, and instantly she showed him he knew very little. What if there's a history of drug abuse, or mental illness or some other issues in her past that OP doesn't know about.
He has such strong feelings for her, he says he loves her, and yet now realizes he barely knows her. I imagine that's a pretty scary thing to have happen. This is why men should never ask how many partners a woman has had.
Don't ask questions if you are not prepared for the answers. I learned this the hard way a long time ago. I don't think there is anything wrong with letting her past experiences bother you. You deserve to be happy. If that makes you unhappy, fair enough. Should you let it bother you? I think the fact that you would never even have known her past until she brought it up is a clue that it doesn't define her personality.
And out of all the guys she's been with, and could have been with, she's been with YOU for months. I have been in a similar situation, but with my boyfriend. It bothered me that he had slept with sooo many people, and the only way I got over it was to straight up confront him about it. I told him "you know, you have slept with a lot of people, and it is kind of gross.
If you two love each other as much as you say you do, you can get over it. The past is the past, and just remember that YOU are the one she is with, not the other guys. Dude it's simple. You either love her enough that you can look past this or you don't. She is not some how tarnished. Would you look down upon a male friend of yours because of how many women he had fucked and now has a wife and kids? Get some perspective. This sounds like the typical hot girl that fucks around through her early twenties with bad boys, and when she see's her youth and beauty fading, marries a needy beta male provider.
One with a madonna whore complex. Bro, you're in your prime. Go learn some game and study female psychology. Thanks for the advice, bud, but I think I'll pass on doing all that again. I had plenty of my own experiences in my twenties. I'm a good looking guy, I have a good career, and I definitely do not suffer from any lack of confidence.
At some point I'd just like to raise a family, and that will require maintaining a relationship with a woman. I don't like juggling and different women in and out of my life anymore. I just want one.
Since he's concerned with his girlfriend's promiscuity your advice is for him to be more promiscuous? He doesn't understand women, and lacks experience. Otherwise he wouldn't be jealous and envious of her sexual-experience. He also wouldn't be searching for women online, the home of the insecure, damaged and needy. I'm not inexperienced, and I was dating people that I met from websites, as well as people that I met through work, and randomly in life.
She happened to be from a dating website, and I admit I was sketched on it at first, and my friends voiced concerns but I stopped caring after a while. I'm not jealous of her experiences, I'm just uneasy with the idea that there could be a large number of people out there who have had sex with someone I may see as a future mother of my children. I just don't like it. Not just "a lot"? People hold different beliefs on what is "a lot" to them.
Where are your feelings coming from? What are you afraid of? Do you think you won't be enough for her? Are you scared you don't measure up with past lovers or experiences? Are you worried that she will leave? Are you worried that having that number of lovers means you aren't as important? Try to really get to the bottom of it. Is it something you are personally afraid of? Is it something you feel comes from the culture you live in?
Anything you come up with is fine. There aren't "right" and "wrong" emotions. When you know why it bothers you, you can start to work on the insecurity that is feeding that fear.
Types of promiscuous women. When it came to myself, I noticed men in particular were not pleased knowing that I dated a lot. They found that weird and unnecessary. But, when it came to them, it was okay to sleep around a lot or date as many women as they wanted. This is the problem, there's a two-tier system when it comes to sexuality and. Nov 17, But if she or someone like her turned up in my office, miserable, dissatisfied, distraught and seeking psychological help, we would have to take a good hard look at her repetitive relationship. That is a bigger red flag than who she slept with. I was promiscuous in the past. And stayed totally monogamous for a good 14 years I recently had a brief girlfriend - but the guys where many. I think my views regarding sex made sleeping with someone outside of my relationship a bit easier, but was far from the main reason.
In the end she is choosing you nothing about her past keeps her from loving you or being loved by you. The issue lies in your own insecurities. But that is good news because you can work on your issues and grow from them. Its best to leave the past in the past. I'm sure she isn't proud of her promiscous past.
Its kind of irrelevent. What matters is who she is today and of course she doesn't have any stds. I think the number isn't the issue here, although that is pretty high. Five years is 60 months so that means she was with a different guy every other month.
That is what is concerning. Does she even know what it is like to be in a loving and respectful relationship? I have never had this issue so I can't tell what I did but I can tell you that past actions often predict future events.
She has a different view on sex and relationships than you do and that will be your undoing no matter how much you adore her. The dumping a long time bf for someone new is concerning as well. I am sorry but you should worry more about if she is really a long term relationship type of person or the kind that stays until something or someone better comes along. I had an ex who used to talk about her previous sexual antics constantly! She used to talk about how she'd had sex in cans, cars, trains Plus how many men she'd slept with whilst under tha age of consent!
Needless to say i dumped her I think that you have to look at the situation as objectively as you can and if you cannot handle her past then leave the relationship. It appears that you are not able to handle what she has done in her past. I'd take someone who has had past partners over someone who has had 2 and has a history of cheating. Promiscuous doesn't always mean unfaithful if that's what you're worried about.
I actually see it as a good thing that she broke up with someone to be with someone else. It beats doing it behind their back. If it's not this, then you need to figure out what the actual problem is. Is it just the stigma attached to promiscuity or does it somehow make you feel inadequate? My boyfriend has a pretty high number, I think it's somewhere around He also has been in 2 long term relationships that collectively lasted around 10 years. I've never really been bothered by the number though.