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Tina Fey was working at the Y. With failure comes baggage. It just makes them human. Where would you be without the hard things that have happened to you? A divorce, a trauma, a severe setback from the life path you thought you were going to take - none of these things are fun to go through, but they make us stronger people.

Even I know people who have been depressed, suicidal, sexually assaulted or suffer from anxiety. Whatever the case, some people carry around baggage. That baggage should not frighten you. We are all human and we all carry around some sort of heavy weight on our shoulders.

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If you are in a relationship or know someone who has suffered through a traumatic event, whether its mental, physical, psychological or emotional, you should try to understand him or her and their past as much as possible. Do not pressure them into telling you. It can be hard for someone who has been hurt in any way to open up about their wounds. It can take one conversation or to finally open up, its all about trust!

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When you do open up try to listen with no judgment, no criticism and no comments. Wait until their story is over and comfort them as much as they need.

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Help ease their anxiety or hurt by acknowledging you understand. Simple words, phrases or actions can trigger some unpleasant memories for people.

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If your partner or friend has told you about what triggers sadness, anger or fear it is best to try and remember. Even if the two of you are fighting it is never wise to do or say anything that can seriously hurt them.

Let's face it: We've all had the oh-so-delightful experience of dating someone who had too much emotional baggage. Unfortunately, it's often not until you're knee-deep in a relationship that you realize just how much baggage he or she has. Wouldn't it be nice if you could train yourself to spot emotional baggage sooner so that .

If they have trusted you with their fears about relationships, being alone, or even spiders, it is never wise to throw it in their face especially the spidersnever. The triggers are never your fault! They are a manifestation of an awful memory from the past.

How To Deal With A Partner Who Has Baggage, Because. Mar 15,   Most people carry some kind of wound from their past. "Baggage" is a part of life-the natural reaction to heartbreak, loss, trauma, and abuse. But baggage doesn't necessarily mean a relationship is destined for catastrophe-if you deal with it in a healthy way. It's not a bad thing to take a chance on someone who has "issues.". Dating. All Dating Advice 9 Signs She Has Emotional Baggage; free of a sordid history that may be putting up emotional roadblocks. They are the women we men can learn to be more brazen Author: Chris Lumsdon.

I believe in you! You can do it!

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Of course someone who has been hurt from the past can experience random mood swings. Some days your partner or friend might want to be in control of everything.

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Other days they might have no input. This all depends on how they are feeling so the best way to do that is ask.

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But sometimes it can be anxiety-provoking to be with someone who we sense has emotional baggage. For people to feel comfortable sharing their past, they need to feel safe, and this can take some time. By asking yourself these questions first, you can become more attuned to what is happening for you before trying to elicit information from your partner.

Furthermore, asking yourself these questions will help you determine whether you should even be dating your partner in the first place. You are his girlfriend, not his therapist. By employing these practices, you can begin to look at and unpack what you need for yourself and from your partner.

Photo Credit: Vine and Light. What do you do when you fall for the guy who is off limits?

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This self-reflection exercise will help you feel more comfortable about sharing painful experiences from the past. Get ready to see a whole new side of him on that annual family beach trip! The next time you're talking about something that you know is difficult for your partner, make sure you're intentionally listening to what they have to say and vice versa.

If you don't, you may accidentally push each other's buttons without even meaning to, Chlipala says.

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Know that cultivating a healthy relationship takes time. Love is more than just about saying three words, sharing a smoothie, and buying gifts. It's about showing genuine respect for one another and being supportive on both good days and bad days - no matter what.

There's a reason why people say that " honesty is the best policy.

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For instance, if you learn that your partner once cheated on another person and if that makes you uncomfortable, say so. The fact that he or she cheated on someone else doesn't necessarily mean your relationship is over, but you should talk about any concerns you may have or details you'd like to know about the situation.

You want to see if compromise is possible where both people feel respected and honored.

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It's important to set aside time for real talk, but don't forget to focus on the good parts of your relationship, too. I mean, you got together hopefully because you make each other happy, right?

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And the truth is that everyone has baggage to some degree, Chlipala points out. And once you've discussed all that baggage and talked so much about it until there's nothing more to say or analyze, keep it all in the past if you can help it.

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The whole point of dealing with baggage is to help both of you move forward, together. This goes hand-in-hand with being patient and understanding. If your significant other comes clean about a cheating past, abusive parents, a creepy stalker ex or another major bombshell that you just can't seem to wrap around your head, practice active listening before you start making assumptions about the situation.

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One of the worst things that can happen is over-reacting, Chlipala says. Get your partner's perspective on what happened and find out what stage he or she is at in the recovery process.

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Ultimately, this will better equip you to handle the information you've been told with time. Imagine what it was like for your partner to go through whatever it was that made him or her this way.

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