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Hate The Alien. Kill The Alien. The myriad forms of the xenos of the galaxy. The main starfaring, intelligent xenos species in the Milky Way Galaxy are the Drukhari , Aeldari , Necrons , Orks , T'au and Tyranids , though there are countless other intelligent alien species, most of them hostile, that Mankind has encountered over the long millennia of its expansion across the stars. Only a fool relies on the alien. Only the dead have trusted the alien, although the last may be deluded into claiming that they yet live. It is not recorded exactly when the human race learned that it was not alone in the galaxy, or which intelligent alien species it first made contact with, but what is known in early Imperial records is that humanity has been competing with xenos since the Dark Age of Technology.

Despite the many xenos dangers across the Imperium, there are those who, in their ignorance or desperation, are willing to make pacts with aliens. Sometimes this is seemingly innocuous: trading to gain advanced technology, hiring brute labour or buying mercenary help. So, concealed within teeming Hive Worldsxeno-tech draws high prices in illicit markets, while the carnivorous Kroot have been paid in flesh to fight alongside human Planetary Defence Forces.

In the Tollovian Cluster, fickle Caradochians are not only tolerated, but allowed to sell their military services to the highest bidder. In this way, many argue, humanity is tainted.

After all, accepting a Donarathi amongst our own kind is only a small step away from making open covenant with the Hru the Orkor any of the other foul alien species that plague the galaxy. A Rogue Trader utilising a sanctioned Kroot to find her target. In the broadest of terms, no human may interact with a xenos creature in any way except violently-such creatures are inherently blasphemous against the God-Emperor and must be eliminated on sight without exception.

From a young age, citizens of the Imperium are taught to fear and hate the xenos, and innumerable legions of Imperial Guardsmen are taught of the superiority of Man over all inhuman things as they are drilled in the use of Lasgun and bayonet. The number of xenos who have set foot upon human worlds peacefully and survived is small indeed.

But this is not always the case. Though the Imperium was founded upon a creed of intolerance towards non-humans, peaceful contact with a variety of xenos species actually happens frequently. In most instances, these are short-term alliances or matters of temporary mutual convenience.

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A number of xenos species hire themselves out as mercenaries to a number of other species, for reasons all their own, and there are more than a few unscrupulous Imperial Commanders willing to hire such creatures to bolster their forces, seeing them as the ultimate expendable mercenaries and caring little for their fate. Rogue Tradersand a few other individuals, have the power to do more, and do so legitimately.

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These men and women, freed from the normal strictures and feudal requirements of the Imperium, have the influence and authority to make peaceful contact with xenos species for trade, temporary alliance or even to hire them as mercenaries.

In some cases, an allied xenos may almost become a trusted companion, highly valued for its skills. Individuals with trusted xenos allies may find that the normal laws and doctrines against consorting with xenos hamper their operations, and in regions on the fringes of the Imperium, like the Calixis Sectora method of sanctioning xenos allies has come about to ease these difficulties.

These Sanctioned Xenos are still regarded with caution and hostility by most, but this is unsurprising - even the Sanctioned Psykers of the Imperium are still subject to the prejudice against witches that is so readily promoted in the Imperium.

However, so long as they remain in the company of an ally who can vouch for their service assorted documentation in copious amounts is provided for this purposeand agree to be visibly marked to prove that they are Sanctioned - this mark is typically a brand or tattoo on the face or hands, where it can be clearly seen - they may continue existing.

The permanence of such a mark is of no concern - without a human employer to vouch for the xenos, the mark is essentially meaningless, and should the xenos cease to serve the Imperium, its life is forfeit anyway, and the creature is slain as soon as possible. Within the Calixis Sectorobtaining such Sanctioning is an expensive and challenging matter; there are few who will even concede that such a practice exists, let alone perform it.

A handful of Administratum Ordinates in Port Wander provide the service, having been recruited for such a purpose by interested Inquisitorswhose purity is tested on a regular basis to monitor potential contamination. Their identities are not widely known, and the service itself must be specifically requested, as they will not offer it otherwise.

As rare as Sanctioning is, it is recognised in many of the more well-travelled parts of the Calixis Sector and the settled worlds of the Koronus Expanse. As the required mark is very similar to that which identifies Sanctioned Psykers, it quickly becomes apparent what the mark means to those with any knowledge of the structure of the Imperium. It is still wise to be cautious in bringing even a Sanctioned Xenos to a human world; those who will understand the nature of the mark and the notion of Sanctioning are still a minority, and a xenos creature will spread only fear and anger by its presence amongst the common masses of mankind.

Although the potential threats posed to humanity and the Imperium by alien influences are many and varied, the doctrine of the Ordo Xenos defines five broad avenues by which the xeno can afflict mankind:. Though there have been hundreds of sentient species in the galaxy's long history, only a handful have ever managed to build vast interstellar empires beyond their respective homeworlds. Even fewer have ever been powerful enough to rule the galaxy for any length of time.

While Mankind is the current dominant species of the Milky Way Galaxyit was not the first, and it is constantly challenged from without by rival species who envy its position of power.

What distinguishes these races from the myriad of lesser intelligent species is the fact they are all currently too powerful for the Imperium of Man to exterminate like so many others:. Not all sentient species are posed to seize the galaxy for themselves.

Hundreds have failed to even prevent their own extinction. Despite this, the galaxy continues to offer a great diversity of alien life in a myriad of forms, all struggling to survive and leave their mark in an increasingly hostile and cruel universe.

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Below is listed a sample of some of the extinct and still-existing minor xenos species that inhabit the Milky Way Galaxy:.

In the long millennia since Mankind first began to settle amongst the stars, some human colonists have deviated to a great degree from the base-line human genome due to exposure to the alien environments of their homeworlds and long centuries of isolation from the rest of humanity during the Age of Strife. Im not sure what you already know but I'll list off some of my weirder stories.

Xenos Christian Fellowship is a non-traditional and non-denominational church in Columbus, Ohio that follows the Bible. We believe in discipleship and emphasize community by meeting in home churches led by volunteers. Xenos can be used to refer to guest-friends whose relationship is constructed under the ritual of xenia ("guest-friendship"). In this usage it is commonly translated as "guest-friend" to distinguish it from the Greek word philos, which was used to refer to local friends and to relatives not strictly bound by xenia.

That way they can see everything you do on your phone in weekly email reports. I had a friend get flagged because he said "fuck me" in a text message. You agree to not watch porn, be in a discipleship, have a job or go to school, go to all the meetings etc.

These are single sex houses where homechurches are held. They put sometimes more people into rooms. There is absolutely no personal space and a lot of really bad hygiene. There is also a questionably large amount of homosexual situations for a church house running around naked, wrestling with little to no clothes on, masturbating while your roommates are in the room, just plain excessive and unnecessary nudity. You're pretty much only allowed to date within xenos and even that has its restrictions.

There is an "unspoken rule" that you can't date a non Christian. They say that the non Christian will lure you into sexual sin and cause you to not put god first in your life. You also kind of have to get permission to date. If you go against that they will warn the leader of the girls house that you want to date and they Will tell her that she can't date you.

If you manage to get past all that then you have to deal with people always questioning your motives and actions. Constantly being asked about where you have been I forgot to mention that we had curfews if you lived in the house. And no girls allowed over after 1 or 2 am.

The next meeting I go to they sit me down an just tell me how messed up of a person I was, an they decided for me I was going to come out to my entire cell group only thinking how it will show others what sexual sin does to someone and not about how I would be. They'll reel you in with love bombing. Hang outs. Parties at lake houses.

Just doing fun stuff. People seem friendly, happy, interested in you. It works especially well on young people who experiencing uncertainty in their life. They give you a sense of community, purpose, and make you feel like you belong. Once you're into the church they get controlling. Collective shaming from your peers is part of their toolkit. You'll be asked to confess your "sins" to a room full of other 20 somethings on a regular basis so they can judge you and tell you that you are straying from god.

They will call it "admonishment" and try to cite some bible verses to make it seem like this is what god wants.

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It might seem strange at first, but you really like hanging out with the people in your group so you will rationalize this public humiliation as "my caring friends are just trying to bring me closer to god" and begin to accept it as normal. This will weigh on your self esteem. You will begin to doubt yourself. You will feel like the biggest sinner in the world.

Everything is a sin. You will feel shame for normal thoughts and feelings, and try to self correct normal behaviors to avoid criticism from your new friends. Xenos values will replace your values. A formerly ardent feminist, lgbt ally, and sex positive person will begin to rationalize things like "a woman must submit to her husband", "gays are sinners and have turned away from god", and "you will go to hell if you have sex before marriage" as "this is god's will and it is what it is".

If you are not married, sex will get you kicked out of the group. Once you are on the outside your supportive network of Xenos friends will evaporate. These formerly close friends will not return your calls. You will be a persona non grata in that circle. But you will also be out of their control and better for it. You are not stupid and you are not gullible. It is not so difficult to walk into this spider's web, and it's very hard to break away.

Social bonds are powerful. The sense of community you feel and the friendships you've made will numb you to what is controlling, what is abusive, what is corrosive to your sense of self. You have value. You have free will. You have dignity. Do not let Xenos take these things from you. I went to CSCC. I got in an argument with a lreacher protester, an attractive guy started backing me. He asked me to lunch and got my number. He asked if I had a church and I said no.

He invited me to the home church [. I was immediately surrounded by love and affection ans everyone took interest in me and I felt like I belonged. Well I was open about how I was dating a guy who was Bi. They took a week to convince me to leave him. And I did. I started going to CT and home church. Everyone told me about discipleship and I desperately wanted it too.

Nothing qualified her to teach me the bible.

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She grew up in xenos and was super sheltered. I could also feel every time I did something to annoy her. So, despite not liking girls or connecting with them, I was told not to hang with the guys anymore. I had my car in the shop once. No one would give me a ride to church after class. They told me to take a bus. I got extremely lost in a bad area at night.

I called many people from a laundery mat. No one would come because they were in discipleship. I hitch hiked to church and was called selfish. I brought the guy to church and they got pissed when they found out he was from the internet This boyfriend embraced the church. The first time he stayed over at the boys [. That guy was out the next day. I left after that. I faced many criticism and then they all blocked me. And when i did it was hell. They still text me saying they want me to come back.

Its been almost a year. Xenos is a fucking cult! Years ago, I had a friend that was attending a home church and he invited me to check it out. What would my parents think? He used the social atmosphere to get me interested in it. He told me that there were cute girls and they play board games there. There is a light bible study at the place designated for the home church, which made me a bit uncomfortable. After that, it basically is a meet and greet and everyone is so friendly.

They want to hear about your background and hang out with you. You come back though a few weeks later with your friend. Eventually, you attend a church called Xenos where you meet more friendly people. They play games in the church basement and have another bible study upstairs.

More hangouts occur, and you start to have interesting conversations with your new friends. Months pass and you get invited to a fun one-week trip to a beach in South Carolina with your home church. Guys in one house and girls in the other. It sounds like a lot of fun, right? The fun is really a distraction to prey on your vulnerability.

You have more uncomfortable conversations during this trip with the home church leaders and their disciples. There is a lot of praying, sometimes starting very early in the morning. There is even a communion type thing towards the end of the trip that made me very uncomfortable to participate in. If you sit out of things, you are basically on your own for that time period.

This beach trip is regulated too so you are basically with the same group of people all day. There is a date night where you get paired up with someone from the other house and you take them out for a nice seafood dinner. Other days, there is swimming, board games, and other activities where you are meeting people from other regions.

It only costs you a little over dollars for the whole trip because you are sharing expenses with your housemates. When you get back from the beach trip, you have uncomfortable conversations with your friends and your parents.

You start to spend less time with your family and friends and more time with this home church group. They try to convert you into their religion by talking about going to hell and stuff like that. Once you pass that test, you get invited to live in a home church. I was brainwashed, and it was hard to snap me back into reality. Once I did, I knew Xenos was a cult! As part of my faith, I was invited to go to Israel for ten days. Once I got there, I was in a total culture shock.

I wrote songs and poetry about my experience. This was a much different trip than my beach trip. I got to learn more about my culture and spend time with fascinating people. By the time it was over, I had a decision to make. It was an easy decision for me to make because I knew that my faith was more important to me than ever. After my trip and after I announced my decision, home church people started to cut me off completely.

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They would no longer invite me to do things with them and deleted me from all forms of social media. I knew who my true friends were, became closer to my family, and became more invested in my faith. I have a story from when I was in the college group and I haven't seen one like it come through but it's the most horrifying thing I witnessed in my time there. I can't remember what year it was, but it was probably in between some time.

I was in a very tight knit group but it was bigger and on the verge of splitting. I never took the step into the ministry house. But I knew everyone in the guy's and girl's ministry houses for my this HC. I felt a part of them anyway and planned on moving in soon.

This changed my mind. One day the leaders got a message to everyone to come meet at the guy's house for a special meeting. I'm not sure but it'd been an "issue" before this meeting. Everyone was sitting in the living room like we would for home church when a leader explained to us why we were there.

This guy was sleeping around, so it was time for a public shaming session. No, they didn't call it public shaming but they labeled it something that feigned concern. We sat for over 30 - 45 minutes while everyone in the group raised their hands and told this guy how wrong pre-marital sex was and how it negatively was affecting our group. Yes, he was dishonest about it, but a brutal public shaming? So "Christ" like.

Anyone that was in this group will know exactly who and what I am talking about and I'd like to see them excuse it or pretend it didn't happen. After the public shaming ended they had a vote to kick him out of the house. All in front of him, people stone faced voted to kick him out. Then everyone sat and watched as he was forced to gather his things and leave the house and home church.

He was told he could come back if he fixed his behavior. He never did and good for him. The leaders then used a bible verse to justify this horrible mental abuse.

It was so sanctimonious and awful, I struggle with guilt for being involved to this day. I don't care if he lied about having sex a million times, it was over the line, out of hand and something Xenos will never apologize for. I left Xenos about 5ish years ago and I'm really happy I did. I will start by saying I don't remember too much about my life before middle school.

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My parents were leaders at some point when I was really young but I truly can't recall that time in my life. My middle school years were when the problems began. You will notice that others have said Xenos emphasizes their "fun, non-conformist" nature and this is absolutely true.

We had fun cell groups, pizza, casino nights, bonfires and blow-out summer camps. One teacher made funny skits. Before the teaching there was always fun music and even an arcade upstairs for the middle schoolers. The adults get a bar at the main campus where drinks are served. There are vending machines all over the place. There are trails from building to building and we felt like the shit because we got to walk back to the adult building after our middle school teaching.

They really make you feel like the cool kid if you go to Xenos, because while your friends are dressing up and singing before service, doing communion etc, you are just livin' it up. But this is only temporary. My bad experiences began primarily at the cell groups.

Calumet is a middle school owned by Xenos and the Xenos leaders send their kids there like no tomorrow. Xenos members are also encouraged to send their kids there and the idea of going to Calumet was pushed heavily on anyone who didn't go.

I never went, and this affected my experience. When I began going to a girls cell group, things were great. We had fun games, learned about each other, and got all the girl's numbers.

They make you feel loved and like you will have so many friends who have your back. This is not a reality though, as over time, the girls never spoke with me. Even if I tried to join their conversations they would awkwardly listen and then talk over me to the other girls. But it was as if I was never there. Upset, I would continually approach the leaders about this, and they proceeded to blame me for not trying hard enough. They demeaned me and told me I was seeking attention.

One told me well since you don't go to Calumet they don't know you so well. Subsequently I stopped going to meetings because I felt I was alone and wasting my time. I would get depressed though because I kind of missed them. I also thought I was somehow abandoning God by not going to cell group. They would never contact me during these times I left. Any time I came back they would shower me with attention and tell me they missed me.

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One leader pulled me aside however and asked me why I hadn't come. When i told her i felt alone and a little depressed, she blamed me again and told me I was just succumbing to the enemy Satan who wants to keep me from going to church. She told me something along the lines of "it's hard sometimes when you're deep in sin. I somehow made it though middle school and to high school. Things got a little better but then quickly worse.

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A friend of mine who I will just call John was previously of the Wickan faith he was super into witchcraft and spells and the whole nine-wore a pentagram to school daily. I brought him to middle school main campus and he accepted Christ that day yay! He went to the high school meetings with me and really flourished there. I saw him totally change for the better. He became so confident and so happy. He was not open about his sexuality but I suspected he was gay. They did not seem to mind this despite the anti homosexual things I have heard previously until one day he brought a Satanic faith friend to the meeting.

I will call the friend Sara. They did their love bombing thing with Sara as they do everyone, surrounding her and making her feel loved. By the next meeting John wasn't there. I got concerned as he loved going, so I called him to to ask him if he was alright. John told me the leaders told him not to come back. I asked why and he said it was because Sara made up a rumor that John was sexually involved with another guy in the church.

I immediately called one of the leaders and she continually looked for a way not to meet with me to discuss the situation when finally she agreed. When we met she kept telling me John was in sin and could not be saved. Jesus says to go after the sheep who go astray so I confronted her with this, and she promptly refused to hear me.

She told me John could only come back when he found God. She would not even consider talking to John about this rumor. I told her Sara only went one time so why on earth would they believe her over John who went with me for years?

She would not hear this and encouraged me not to talk to him because he would need to find God in his own. John was so upset and destroyed by this rumor that he declared he hated Jesus and Christianity, and wished he had never gone.

I left that group and joined a friend's group, but left after some time because they told my friend they couldn't be trans and a Christian. I left Xenos for good after that. Despite other peoples stories about them chasing after them begging to come back, my friends and I never had this experience.

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Actually it was the opposite as we were left alone only to come back being interrogated about what we were in sin about. On a few side notes: Xenos leaders tend to special treat their kids and hold them exempt from a lot of rules.

This comes into every age group-I watched the middle and high school leaders kids get showered each meeting and followed around. Everybody loved them. A lot of them used this to be complete assholes to anyone who was not a leaders kid. This concept was even embedded in the kindergarten age, as my baby sister had a lot of problems with the leaders kids bullying and harrassing her.

My older sister left Christianity but tried to get back in by going to a college group. She was promptly met with them partying and drinking before and after the teaching. They are hypocritical.

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My mom and dad also stopped teaching because it was consuming their time and they didnt have time for us kids anymore. Their decision to leave was met with a lot of anger from fellow Xenos leaders. My mom talked to me about a big porn issue with some of the male leaders in the church, which caused divorces. And the male leaders would tell her it wasn't adultery and do nothing about it. And yet they teach men to honor their wives. Now that we all have stopped going, everyone we know from Xenos no longer talks to us, except for maybe two people and that's only because they are long time friends.

But if you make friends with anyone through Xenos, don't count on keeping them if you leave. I thought of going to Xenos to get married because the trails around the church inspired my novel I'm writing. Its a special place and we wanted to take pics there. This was after being gone for over 5 years-they still had me in their system! They push the concept of saving people to everyone but don't really care about new believers as they dont nurture them. Saving someone just gets them brownie points and then they completely shatter you by giving you false beliefs that they will always be there for you when in reality they are not.

They always manipulate you and tell you jf you don't come to church youre sinning and can't be close with God. I had a friend from college, probably my best and dearest friend from college, whose husband got her involved with this bunch. Pretty soon she was always trying to talk with me about Jesus. At first I engaged in these sort of philosophical discussions but pretty soon it was always, "So have you thought about our talk about Jesus? I finally let the friendship go.

They were completely immersed in it. Sometimes I read my friend's old letters - before Xenos - and it always breaks my heart and I literally grieve for a week or more. She was funny and smart and the coolest kid I knew. She was the last person you would ever think would buy into this B. And I can't tell you how much I miss her, even after many years now. I hate her husband, who should have been helping to protect her not roping her in, and I hate Xenos.

Kids are given "the talk" usually in their junior year in high school about how they should stay in Columbus to be a part of Xenos instead of leaving to go to a different school. I have seen it with my children - they were planning to go elsewhere, but changed their mind because of this. I joined Xenos my Sophomore year in high school. I actually got invited to a "super bowl party" but it was actually a bible study in some dudes basement.

My best friend CeCe begged me and so I went. It was all fine until halftime started and they pulled out bibles and started praying and I was so uncomfortable because I did not grow up going to church. My best friend begged me to go to more bible studies because she thought that I would benefit from their "love" and "support". I was already dealing with years of bullying and self harm and on medication, so you can say I was pretty vulnerable at the time.

I was sucked in by their love and how much they really liked me and that I could really really benefit from having a life with Christ. They make you feel welcomed and loved for like a few weeks They literally fucking love bomb you and then you get sucked in and the lies and abuse start. So I kept going and was put into Moonbase homechurch. I kept going and going and loved it for awhile until they made me feel bad for not going to things when I couldn't go.

They want to keep you out all night and we're kids and I was under 18 and had to follow my mom and dad's rules but they did not care. I was kept for my family and my other friends. I wasn't allowed to have friends outside of their group unless I invited them and of course I did because I wanted to hang out with those friends. I was taught to groom them just like they did me. If they left we couldn't be friends anymore because they couldn't be saved now.

I could see myself changing but I didn't know that it was wrong because I thought I was doing what God was wanting me to do. I started getting depression really bad again after the love bomb died and it just got to the point where I was constantly wanting to kill myself and I was still battling with my sexuality and they did not accept that whatsoever.

I was told when I first entered the church that they did not care if you were gay, straight, bisexual, transgender, because they weren't conservative and wanted to be a "laid back" and "accepting" church and I believed them.

One of my leaders that came up to me who I told everything to, who I trusted told me that I could not achieve the same love that God has for everyone else in the group because I like girls and the only way that God could love me all of me was if I prayed away my sexuality. This came out of no where considering i was open about being into girls from jump. That hurt me beyond belief. I felt like I was getting slapped in the face because my best friend lied to me and then all my new friends and leaders had lied to me.

I didn't know what to do after that until they showed to my fucking school to "apologize" and of course I went back because they said sorry and then proceeded to make me feel bad for making them feel bad about me wanting to kill myself. The next incident was when my depression got even worse and I opened up about it and they had found out I was cutting and the one of the leaders wrote a handwritten letter to my mom about my issues. They told my mom that I needed psychiatric help and should see the Xenos therapist.

I vented to one of the leaders and she told me that I had depression because I was sinful and God wanted to punish me to make me learn. That push me to the edge after that because they tell you that God loves you, that God wants to help you and that God can heal you and it doesn't matter who you are or what you're going through and after she said that it kind of just like unvalidated everything that they told me.

So once again they fucking lied. They got upset and I eventually got fed up and just told him that I wasn't coming back. They kept messaging me and blowing up my phone and they all cussed me out in a group chat and it just wouldn't stop. My best friend who invited me to go eventually stopped talking to me when she realized that I stopped going and that is what really set me off. I told people my experience about what happened to me and I told them not to go and I told them that they're not friendly and that they are a cult.

It took a year-and-a- half of lies and grooming to realize that. They got mad at me AGAIN and my friend hated me for not going anymore and I was mad at her because she shunned me and we were fighting until they showed up to my school AGAIN looking for me because I was "harassing" her and I was "harassing" the other members. They were harassing me in reality. They just made me feel uncomfortable and unsafe.

My senior year I finally made up with my friend and we kind of just let everything go even though she was still going to Xenos and I was still upset about all the things that they had done to me. That September she had told me that one of our old leaders that we had in the group committed suicide and they didn't know why.

Two months later after us getting to know each other again and being close she committed suicide. I really did not believe the rumors and I didn't want to believe them because she acted like she was fine and she acted like she was happy and I know what it's like to act happy and normal and still want to kill yourself because they did that to me.

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I later found out that there was a suicide between my old group leader and my best Friend within Xenos. Months later after my best friend committed suicide another child committed suicide in Xenos. I talk to my friends mom on occasion and she told me a lot of info regarding the things that go on in that "church" including sexual abuse and evil things.

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She told me that they took her away from her family all the time. I did not attend her funeral or memorial because I knew it was being done by Xenos. I never got a goodbye or a reason of why she killed herself.

I have had dreams of her telling me things but I can't always believe them or understand them. The memorial was held at Xenos's main church. I heard a lot of things like they hung her clothes including her bra and panties that she killed herself in from multiple people.

They fucking took my fucking best friend from me. They basically killed her and I didn't get a goodbye or closure or reason. It's been a year and half since she passed and I still cannot believe or accept until something is done for her and all the others that took their life while at Xenos. They destroy lives and if I never left I'd probably be gone too. If you can make this anonymous, I left Xenos a few years ago they created emotional, mental trauma in my life.

They left me in pieces after I left, left me depressed. I was deep in xenos, at a homechurch called [. When you go, they will bomb you with love and they will make you accept Christ your first time out. They forced me to accept Christ my first time out and the next thing I knew I was studying with a leader.

The one for Christ followers they would talk shit about the non believers for their past or what they talk about. I apologize if this is all over the place.

I was in Xenos from my sophomore year of high school until my freshman year of college. I was desperate for friends, and one of the members reached out to me at school. They latched on to me like glue, and I loved the attention. I felt love like I had never felt before, and they seemed genuinely interested in getting to know me and my story. I then started switching between the church that I grew up in and Xenos, until shit hit the fan at my other church. I then was all in.

I went to every event I could for the high school group, and brought friends out. I eventually got someone to convert to Xenos under the careful guidance of the leaders and the others in the group, who essentially harassed me into harassing her to come out. Once she had been converted, I got loads of praise. Me and the other girl were full into Xenos, and i continued to invite people out.

I naively wanted to invite everyone out so they could feel as loved and accepted as I felt. However, the more I began opening up, the more that I saw their bad side. I eventually went and saw a Xenos counselor without my parents knowledgeand she said the same thing. I discussed the possibility of going on meds with one of the members, and she accused me of not allowing god to work, and trying to know more than him.

So I persisted in hoping that I would get closer to god, and he would make me feel better. I am also overweight, and they berated me for not progressing more into weight loss. It just left me feeling worse about myself. They also wanted me to move into one of their houses, however, my parents said no Which I am eternally grateful for. I told them that, and basically told me to keep fighting it. They eventually got tired of trying to convince me, and confronted me, saying that I have to move in with them.

I went back to my dorm, devastated. I cried myself to sleep, not knowing what to do. I never saw any of them again. I sometimes wonder if they think about me, and if, what they think about. About a year after I left, i heard that one of my former leaders committed suicide. I was sad, but unsurprised, as my own exit left me suicidal. A couple months later, I see a post saying the girl I brought out killed her self.

I was at work at the time, and once I got home, I sobbed for hours. Thus, I completely support this movement.

No one else should lose their loved ones from this. If anyone who loved her initials C. Feel free to reach out to me noxenosjmt -Julia. When I was in Xenos, I was struggling really hard with anxiety and depression, and similar to these stories they told me to see a xenos therapist instead of listening to me and actually helping me address this problem. I was suicidal and actually attempted suicide, and I had been with them that night and told them I was gonna do it, but all they did was drop me off at my moms house?!?

We will pray for you. As everyone else has said, they shun the hell out of you when you leave. I have so much hatred for this group, but forums like this that spread awareness of the horrendous things they do to people, help. This has to stop.

Thank you. The worst part about this tragic situation though was her funeral. But friends who did attend basically told me it was a huge plug for the church. All they talked about was the church This obviously was not the case. People hung out with her at youth group the night that she died, and they all said she was just as happy and smiley as ever.

It still angers me to this day, even though it was almost two years ago. It is a crime and I hate that they have gotten away with disrespecting the beautiful and kind person she was. A current OSU ministry house member raped me about a year ago.

Jan 28,   View File Stellaris Sexy Xenos and more (SSX) SSX for Stellaris x to x Only the SSX and SSM species classes have the portraits. Its normal if the other species classes are empty, its because its impossible to add a new cityscape without his own species classes. I . Oct 01,   We're on a mission to create experiences that's important to everyone. Learn About Our Company Solutions Products Media News and Highlights The PR Workshop Has Been Canceled Xenos Media October [ ]. Jun 15,   Dating someone in Xenos means they are more likely to stay in the Church than continue to date you, leave first, and then ask them to join you. 4. Find a support group, start reading online about Xenos, Cults, and Recovery and start making steps to rediscover your life. 5.

So i went to the police after finding out that they would do nothing. It was a [. This is long, but it is only a small part of my personal story. Especially those who were in my home church with me, though it no longer exists. I am going to start with my biggest issue with Xenos and work through some shit from there. This experience happened with a guy I started dating while I was still in Xenos, but we both left around the same time. After we left, he was very pushy about sex and any sexual interaction and for a long time I felt sure that was just sort of "how guys are" when they're "in the world.

They are telling men that they are naturally more inclined toward being the head of the family and the leader, as the Bible says. They are told that they are meant to lead the relationship. Women are told to allow men to lead the relationship. Women are told to support men in prayer and action or passivity as they are leading the relationship and one of the ways this is done is in the way women are told not to tempt men sexually. This shit is in the Bible, they aren't making it up, but I would say that the way they are really really enforcing it is shockingly detrimental.

They believe in the Bible as absolute truth, so it makes sense that they reinforce these Biblical gender roles. They really believe in them, but they have no idea that it is hurting them. That is a bizarre and to say the least outdated conversation. To be fair, a lot of members at the time thought the conversation was too much for the email line, but they certainly still had opinions about it.

While in fellowship, your mind and surroundings can build up sexuality as this crazy forbidden thing side note: you cannot just turn that feeling off once you're married, shit is fuckin awkward and guilt-ridden even though God is suddenly smiling upon your holy lil union now bc of a piece of paper from the governmentand that leads nowhere good.

I had trouble having a healthy relationship with my own sexuality until I really worked through veryyyyy much shit - and I faced a lot of roadblocks as a result of my initial naivete.

A lot of people have trouble with that. I was fully convinced that if I did not cast my anxiety on him and talk to random people about God, they may never hear the gospel, and they may never be saved. People in my group were encouraged by my tenacity. I tried and tried to get people to come out to our group, because I believed it was what they needed.

I was absolutely convinced I had found the key to living a meaningful life filled with purpose. When I first joined my group, our prayer meeting was sad and short. People were disinterested. I started making charts and sending out email ates about the people that were being pursued. I was fucking IN IT. Shit turned around, people got into it!!! I prayed relentlessly. I didn't believe I was actually good at it, though. I believed it was all the work of the Holy Spirit and I felt blessed and humbled that the Spirit was using me.

I mean, sometimes I felt like a fuckin badass on my own, but I really believed that it wasn't me, and I kept telling myself that. I wanted to believe it, they reinforced it, the whole lifestyle seemed to be working well for me for quite a while. I started discipling one of my friends from high school. I deeply regret this. I think about it almost daily. I wish she were not in Xenos.

She is so smart and so funny, but so stifled. I loved knowing her, but I would trade the pleasure of our friendship for the opportunity to go back and never invite her to home church. She initially had the most brilliantly crude sense of humor, and we sort of took that away from her, as a group.

We thought we were helping. We wanted her speech to be edifying. I miss her so much. I still try to hang out with her. She texts me back sometimes and we make plans to hang out somewhat regularly certain holidays when we are both in our hometownbut EVERY time, she cancels at the last minute. Like clockwork. I have not actually seen her since December and when we hung out at that time, she told me that she wanted to hang out more. I don't blame her for not doing so.

I am not at all angry with her about it. I was for a while. I just miss her now.

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She wrote me a painful letter shortly before I left and I still read it all the time to remind me of how much she changed and how much of an impact the group has on its members. She is right where I was, how could I resent her for that?

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She believes it wholeheartedly and I really do regret that I ever believed that God was working through me to put her in that place. She's just a part of the group via "giving it all to God," like I was.

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A few months before I left, I became a sit-in leader and got to teach home church for the first time. I fucking loved teaching. I was told to rely more and more on God as I was balancing two part time jobs, going to every meeting, leading a group of 4th and 5th graders on Sundays, and taking leadership training classes. Members will say that they encourage each other to prioritize their health, but this is only to a certain extent.

I never felt like I was doing too much, because I believed that the Lord would sustain me and I would not grow weary. I got the same amount of sleep as most of the other leaders and I had the same dietary habits. I tried to be a decent steward of my body. I know now that I require more sleep than some others might, and I am very sensitive to the food that goes into my body. This lifestyle was not physically or emotionally healthy for me, but I did not realize until it was too late, because I was so thoroughly convinced that God was providing me with supernatural energy, as many people I really respected, constantly prayed that he would do for all of his servants.

To make a long story slightly shorter, I will get to the part where I had what was basically a gradual mental breakdown. It was subtle at first, but things escalated quickly. My boyfriend at the time who was also a sit-in leader and I went to reach out to some of my high school friends. I really really really wanted them to know Christ personally, because I believed that this was the most meaningful decision they could make. I wanted to make disciples of them, because I believed following God was the most fulfilling way of life.

I told myself this, I told others this, they said it to me, we said it together in prayer - I really believed that my life was the best possible life, because I believed I was living the life God wanted for me. Anyway, I did not know how to drink without getting drunk. That's what you're supposed to do in Xenos. You can drink, but you can't get drunk. People get drunk all the time, but they call it a little tipsy.

What is the difference? There's not, it's totally subjective. I didn't know that. I never drank before I was in Xenos, and this vague distinction was impossible for me.

I had no idea how to drink without getting drunk! My friends were playing a drinking game, and I thought that if I played only one round, I could get to that appropriate place. That is not what happened. I got drunk as fuck. So did my boyfriend. We started doing shots together. I blacked out and I regained consciousness in a room with him. I remember making out, I remember touching his dick, I remember touching myself in front of him, but it's all fairly blurry. As soon as I really realized what was going on, I felt a huge sinking feeling.

I had sinned against God and against my brother in Christ. I knew that was the only way I would be able to continue my walk.

I had to confess as quickly as possible, so that Satan couldn't get a foothold. I wanted God to use me to do his work, despite my brokenness and my mistake. I'd seen him do it before with countless people in the Bible namely David, my favorite person in the Bible pretty much the whole time I was in the churchI was sure he could do it again.

As soon as I told my boyfriend what I'd done, he said we had to leave. He was still drunk and we were a couple of hours from Columbus. My discipler and my roommate both insisted that we get out of there quickly so that we would not have sex. My friends from high school told us that we should stay longer until we sobered up, but my boyfriend was cocky and convinced them he could drive.

He told them we couldn't stay because if we stayed, we would have sex. One of my friends told him that if we had sex, it would not be consensual, because he was sober enough to drive and I was obviously and certainly NOT. I love her for that, even though I didn't fully appreciate it at the time.

We left. I don't know how we got home safely I thought it was God at the timebut we did, and my roommate that I texted that night was so kind to me about the situation. As was my discipler. I have to say, they both initially really encouraged me that this did not define me or my walk with God. However, things quickly changed. My boyfriend was encouraged to break up with me, so he did. I understand that the leaders thought this would be best, and I respected that.

I'm deeply grateful that they didn't encourage him to marry me, as that sort of thing happens a lot and I would have been agreeable to it in retrospect, my relationship with him was the worst relationship I ever had. He's probably more cool now, he was just also dealing with leaving Xenos and we were just not compatible once we started being ourselves apart from the church. We were both no longer allowed to be sit-in leaders. I was no longer allowed to lead the 4th and 5th grade class that broke my fucking heart because I had been doing it for awhile and I loved those kids and I loved teaching.

I was no longer allowed to make the charts and send out the emails for prayer group - even though no one had ever done it before me. I was told that I was given grace, but it really felt like my role became very limited by the leaders to make an example of my sin.

At the time, I trusted that the leaders knew what was best and God would still use me. I tried to see these things as consequences, not punishment.

But it fucking hurt. Looking back, the creepiest part was when all of the girls in my group had a meeting to discuss with me what I had done. I also was accused of having gotten drunk at the beach a few months before and breaking a chair. I wasn't even mad, but it was so random and that's sort of why it sticks with me. This accusation came out of nowhere.

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It came from the senior leader. My discipler said it wasn't a big deal and that he may have been mistaken, but I wondered why it came up then, after I had confessed to a different drinking incident, rather than when he initially thought it happened. She said they were trying to determine whether or not it was a pattern, which made sense to me at the time, but I still have no fucking clue what they were talking about, so it's kinda funny to me now. My ex did not get this treatment.

What he did made sense simply because he is male. Men want sex and get tempted. There was no pattern of sin to look for apart from his biology. It was pretty rough for me then. I was hearing that my sin didn't define me, while being subtly shown that I was indeed defined by it at every turn. I felt alone. I felt more punished. I felt misunderstood. Still, I believed that these feelings were not truth and I ran to God.

I truly did. I believed Satan was trying to take me out. I wanted this to grow me in my walk. I felt I was being forged and molded into a better worker for him. I shared openly, all of my thoughts and feelings during this time. I felt I had nothing to lose and I wanted to give it all to God. One night, our cell groups went out to Suzie Cue to play pool.

I was still having trouble finding a way to drink without being drunk, but everyone was drinking and I loved the camaraderie that's also why I started smoking and continued to smoke cigarettes for a year after I leftso I did shots with a few people. This killed me. He was my friend before we dated and now he was disgusted with my presence. It hurt. I was drawn to this warmth after my ex had been so cold, and I found him physically attractive, so when he invited me to get pizza after everyone was ready to leave, it felt good and I went.

We ended up going to another bar, drinking, and making out. I don't remember how I told everyone about this happening. I think I confessed it to that intimate all-female study group. Everything gets hazy around this time because I fucking LOST IT after this, as a lot of the girls did not trust me anymore and they were very direct about this.

One of the leaders told me she didn't think I was repentant. Honestly, their marriage was kind of scary I'm not gonna get too into that, and I didn't recognize it at the time, but the dude was so sexist and condescending, especially to her - there's no incentive not to be like that in a Xenos marriage, because men are the leaders and they are supposed to do a lot of the shit which makes them seem inherently more capable It's still shitty though.

I think she saw this potential discipleship as an opportunity to serve which would grow her husband spiritually, and now it was possibly ruined because I had sinned against this guy. I was really not eating at this point.

I was not sleeping. I was in a manic daze. I was juggling so much in my head, until I was essentially incoherent.

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